"Self Care Sunday" - DJ Flula

8/16/23

The Mediocre Moms Club

Episode #4: "Self Care Sunday" - DJ Flula

Join KiKi and I while we discuss the importance of self care as a mama!
 

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Transcript

 Hey mamas, welcome to the mediocre moms club. I'm Amy, a working mom of two, who when it comes to being a mom is definitely more surviving than thriving each week. You'll hear me and some mom friends share our experiences of laughing, learning, and occasionally fucking up our way through motherhood.



Oh, yeah, oh Oh my god, I haven't done this in so long. Welcome to the mediocre mom's club Kiki's back

Kiki's back Back again. We're kind of going over whether this is officially gonna be a Kiki co host situation. Wow, that does have a nice ring to it. Kiki the co host. What was that one that was on like Jammin 94. 5 when we were younger? What were they? Oh, something and Pebbles. Jammin no, wait. Do you remember what I'm The freaking Puerto Rican.

Yes, yes, yes. Who is that? Oh my god. He's still out there somewhere. Yeah, and Pebbles and Melissa. Yeah, but who is the guy? The freaking Puerto Rican? Yeah, but what was his I can't think of it. And then Maddie in the Morning. Well, obviously. I listen to Maddie in the Morning so much. Well, that's not a thing anymore.

Did he die? No, he didn't. Oh, he's super old. No, he moved to Florida and now Billy Costa and Lisa took over. The only radio station that I listen to is 1017 the bull, mostly because I'm obsessed with Bobby Bones. I've told you this before. I don't know who that is. I love Bobby Bones. Is that the radio? He's a radio host.

And he's just so awesome. He's written some, like, a really great book, maybe more than one book. He's just, like, kind of all about being, like, bettering yourself and whatever. Anyway, I'm obsessed with him. Okay, Billy Bones. No, it's not Billy, it's Bobby Bones. Okay, Bobby Bones. Bobby Bones, oh my god. Oh, I like him.

He inspired me. This podcast is not about Billy Bones. It's not. Fucking Billy. Bobby. Bobby Bones. Bobby once doesn't like swearing, so I'm really sorry. He does it. No, he doesn't wear and he doesn't drink Anyway, Bobby, I don't remember. Oh, he inspired my He inspired my Friday morning dance party in my classroom, though Oh, that's because I would listen to the songs and then I'd be like I could do this and so I would like semi DJ Well for a Friday morning dance party until I had to stop.

Yeah until I had got in trouble because too many classrooms

It was so fun. Anyway, we should tell the listeners what we're currently doing. Oh my gosh, this is crazy. We are on a mom's night, a mom's night away, self care Sunday without our children right now. We're just trying to get a little bit of rest and relaxation. In alone time. In alone time. Time without our kids.

Yeah, so we went, we left this morning an hour after we were going to because I have an inability to be on time and you were gonna kill me. I was just so desperate to leave. I know. Like every minute. I know, I felt so bad. So bad. I wanted to go. And then we went to the beach and now. And I fried myself. Oh yeah, you're, you're a lobster.

You feel, you feel a little toasty. But it's so nice to just sit on the beach and not have to watch kids. It's just constant anxiety of like, counting heads, and Is everyone here? What are Everybody's always eating sand. Oh my Well, especially with your littlest. Yeah, he just loves to eat the sand. H loves the sand.

He's like a sand magnet. Which I kind of love though, that he doesn't bother him. He doesn't bother him, which is awesome, but it bothers me. It bot yeah. Which I'm getting better about, but, yeah. Yeah, kids in the water, kids running around, like, panic mode when you don't see a kid first. Oh, and I'm literally like, one of them's gonna die.

Always. Like, one of them's gonna get eaten by, like, it's, but it's not even a normal way, like, one of them, I assume that they're either gonna get eaten by a shark, Or, like, abducted. Even though they don't go, up past their, like, mid shin. I know. And, or they're gonna get swept out to sea and lost at sea. Well, riptides are real.

They are real, but like, I always get concerned that because there's so many people that somebody's just gonna grab a kid and then, oh yeah, but definitely the drowning here is a big one. Definitely. I will say we're getting to a point now where like both of my kids are really good swimmers without floaties.

So I think so. Even adults can get taken out by a strong riptide. Oh, absolutely. Ocean's just a whole new ball game. The ocean, like Moana said it best make way. Does she say way or wave? I think it's make way. Yeah, like make way. Oh my god, I love Moana. But in all seriousness, it's like, no, the ocean is its own thing.

Yeah, I mean, it's a life force. So, yeah, we're on a mom's night away. You know, I don't know about you, but I felt like it was almost a little bit hard to relax on the beach because I'm just so not used to it anymore. Oh, 100%. Typically, I just fall asleep or lay before kids or read a book, but I felt like I couldn't.

Really? No, I 100%, I 100% know what you're talking about. And it was still totally enjoyable. I'm not saying that it wasn't, but I was like watching other people's kids. No, it was really enjoyable, but I couldn't relax because like, I was like, what am I supposed to be doing? Like, I think that's a big thing about taking time for yourself as a mom because it's like, Oh, what are all the other things that I need to do or um, should be doing in and we have to kind of change the narrative of like stop those like thoughts in your head of what should I do and more of like, what do I want to do?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then we, we went out to dinner and we people watched and there's definitely a couple next to us that was having a hard time. Oh my gosh. I'm so glad you noticed because I was noticing the whole time and I was like, they're definitely. Fighting. Well, I was like, why isn't he talking?

He was staring at his phone. The entire was time. And her face looked so sad. I was like, Ugh. And she was kind of just staring at him. Anyways, it was awkward. But we did get oysters and oh, so good. They were gigantic, yummy food. Um, but people watching was on point. What Spending too much time together, clearly.

Dang. Earlier how it's. It's so good to take time for yourself away from your kids. Maybe you're not able to do it with your spouse because it's hard to find child care or, you know, make, to make that work. But I just feel like it's not quantity of time, but like quality of time you're spending with your kids and you can be a better mother if you actually take time for yourself and well and you know what I think would be really interesting is.

Scheduling because I feel like the way we live now is it's a rarity, like the mom time. Like, even if we take time for ourself, it's never, it's never like a routine thing. I feel, so we spend so much time floundering like, Oh my God, what should I do? Should I take an app? Should I clean the house? I don't want to clean the house.

Should I go, you know what I mean? It's like, if we knew it was going to happen. Yeah. If we knew it was going to happen, like consistently like date night. Oh, it's like, Oh no. It's like. self care day. You know what I mean? When you set that time aside and schedule it, then maybe you don't feel as guilty or bad or like overcome with those, I should be doing this or need to be doing that because if it's a scheduled time, you're like, okay, I've set this time aside.

This is my time to do just basically nothing and relax. Not my time to be stressing about cleaning the bathroom or doing the dishes, you know, folding laundry or whatever. I have so much laundry to put away right now. Yeah, part of the reason it's hard to relax when you're on like these little getaways even though they're few and far between is like I'm just Thinking about all the stuff that is waiting for me at home.

I know. I just have so much to do. I worked so much last week too. So it's like, yeah, this was definitely needed. But, but it does add more stress. Oh, a hundred percent. It's like you can't even go away for one night without thinking about all the shit you still have to do when you get home. I don't think it's even possible to get that out of your brain though.

I miss the days where you could just relax and not feel guilty about it. Yeah, there's so many people that rely on you and need you. Yeah, everything. Yeah. And, I mean. How many hours have we been gone and my kids were like, Mommy! And Jay was like, I want you to come home. It hasn't even been a full 24 hours.

It's barely gonna be 24 hours. It's probably gonna be 26 hours. Yeah, it'll be 26 hours, exactly. Yeah, and I think it doesn't always have to be a night away, like, even if it's just, you're gonna go get a massage one day, and like, schedule that ahead of time, because then it's like, that's time scheduled in your routine, in your day, in your week.

And it's like, the hard part too, is things are expensive. I know, I always feel guilty about spending the money too. Yeah, going away for a night is great, but you do also have to think about the cost of the hotel and the food and the whatever it adds up and just seems like, Oh, I'm not going to do it because of the cost.

And I'm not going to do it because it's just too hard to find like the childcare. And there's just like always an excuse. And it's like, they're really like. Shouldn't be. Yeah, just kind of make it work because it's important for your mental health. Oh 1000% I and I feel like sometimes I wish it was almost like longer because it's like you still can't relax You know what I mean?

But then I feel like the longer I'm away from them like I already was like looking at freaking pictures on my phone Like what the heck dude like the trip I have planned in the fall and I'm gonna be going away for like five nights and I told my husband, like, I'm feeling even anxious now because I'm thinking I'm gonna be an ocean away from them.

I know. That's, like, scary. And he's like, well, what's gonna happen? I'm like, well, what if something happens to them and I'm that far away? It's not like you can get back quickly. It's not, like, drive home and help. Right. And he's like, well, if something happens, like, I'm there and I'll take care of it and, you know, don't be, he's like, you trust me, right?

Obviously, I trust you, but I don't know, there's just something that feels, I have those exact thoughts. Unnatural, about being that far away from your, your child, I don't know, like, just feels not right to be that far away from them. Like, what if they leave? That's why being a flight away sounds like... But super bizarre to me because it just feels weird because it's like if I can't even if it was like gonna take me longer to drive there like but I can still get there.

You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, no, I get it. And it's not just like a I don't know. It's not like I'll be in the continental US. So it's right a little bit challenging to get home. But yeah, I don't know. It just feels like a part of you is like missing. It's like somebody like removed a limb. Oh, 100% like, like, They're such a part of us that well, that is a part of it weird.

I read something somewhere I don't even remember what it was, but it was some article and it was like how You really are physically a part of them though. Well, yeah, they grew inside of you They grew inside of you part of their dna is like, oh, is it us? Yeah, exactly. It's so cool It's like yeah, you really are like like you feel their pain you literally do and I would try explaining that to my husband I'd just be like you don't understand i'm physically hurting because of his emotional pain or his physical pain.

Like physically, I am hurting. I'm like, you don't understand that. And it's not his folly doesn't understand it, but it's like, I think it's impossible to understand. It just makes me feel almost like panic to think, Oh my God, I'm going to be that far away from them. Yeah. That's scary to me. I don't know.

Cause it feels like such a lack of control and well, yeah. And that's, I mean, that's what it is. Yeah, I don't know, I'm just wary that something weird, that I won't be there to help or fix, which T, he's more than capable of handling it, but it's just something weird about it. But I know once I get there and I'm, you know, it'll be great, it's gonna be such an experience and I'm not gonna pass it up, but No, but I feel guilty and panic stricken and paranoid about it the entire time, or leading up to, and yeah, it's weird to think like, well, what if something happens to me?

It's like, I'm not even worried about me. I'm worried about what if something happens to me and then they have to yeah. Yes! I think about that all the time. Travel is just kind of crazy in general, whether you're with your kids, whether you're without your kids, whether you're, I don't know, it's pretty crazy.

Yeah. I feel like as a mom, You crave and want, or I know I do, crave and want time away from your kids, time away from your kids. I just get so you get it, you're like, I want to get And then when you get it, you're just like, oh, I kind of really miss them. I know, I was looking forward to this for weeks, and then now I'm like, oh, I miss them.

I just kind of want to pop in their room and watch them sleeping. Except I am so... Super fucking pumped to sleep in a bed by yourself. I mean, it's not like the air conditioning and we have the air conditioning pumping. Yes. Kiki is literally wearing multiple layers. I'm cold. I, that's pretty normal. I love being queer.

Yeah, it's, we need to just be in the moment. Yeah. And just enjoy the little things like, ugh, being in a bed without anybody else in it. Nobody's elbow is gonna, you know, end up in our face. Ugh, so painful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scroll our phones and then I know we probably won't sleep in, but we could, if we want, I could, if I wanted to, and that could also like, if we got up early though, we could go sit on the beach.

I thought about that. I know these are the struggles. Oh, you know what I want to share about though. I want to share about that lady at the peach who helped us today. Oh, that was super. That was the coolest thing. So, and I felt like moms helping moms, like the energy was so good. We've been talking kind of about like energy and vibes and everything.

And I feel like the energy was so cool. So we were at a part of the beach where there wasn't like an entrance, super, super close. So we have to like lug all of our stuff from where we were sitting to the stairs and up the stairs and then onto like the sidewalks. So we were like, Oh, you know what? We should put some of our stuff up on the ledge and then go walk, you know, the longer distance around to the stairs, not like carrying a bunch of shit and then get it, whatever.

Anyway. So we were putting stuff up on the ledge and this woman randomly stopped. Someone's like, uh, do you want me to, are you trying to put this stuff up here? Like here, hand it to me. And at first, like I didn't even know she was talking to us. I was like us. And she was like, yeah, yeah. I just did the same thing.

Yeah. Hand it to me. Hand me your stuff. Yeah. And I was like, huh? I just was confused. Yeah. And then Sheila was like, no, no, no. We just, I just did the same thing. It saved, you know, it saved us, whatever. Yeah. She was like, somebody just helped me do the same thing and she had her kid like, pay it forward. Yeah.

She had her kid like right there. Yeah. I was like, oh my God. I love, oh, we should have paid it forward. I know. We suck. So we handed all our stuff. Pick up a little bit of trash. That's right. You did. I did. You did counts for something. It does, yeah. But yeah, it was cool that she, she offered help. That was so sweet.

Yeah, I was like, wow, that was really, because that really made it so much better because I hate that. Until you lost your chair. Ugh, RIP chair. It wasn't that great of a chair. No, it wasn't great at all. It was the worst beach chair ever. But I, little did I know I would love taking my children to the beach.

Let's just say a big thank you to that woman for helping us. Yes. With our chairs. We hope you someday will listen to this. Even little things like that, they can go a long way. A big milestone, we are over 600 downloads. Obviously. Obviously. Well, it's pretty cool that it's like continued to go up, even though we haven't done an episode in a really long time.

I know I said this. Life gets in the way. I don't know if I even said this on a podcast yet. Oh my God. So I'll have to like either put this up in the beginning or maybe not. But like I was editing, this is such a friggin mediocre mom thing to do. I was editing a podcast episode with my friend, um, that I recorded a kind of about like food and picky eating of kids and stuff.

And I was editing that, but I was doing it while I was in the bathtub. Cause I love baths so much. And I dropped, I dropped the laptop in the bathtub and I was like, Oh, no, no, Oh no. Put it in rice. I was like, Oh my God. And I was like, do I even tell my husband? I was like, your laptop. So it was one, we bought like a house for the house.

Because like, I had my old Mac, but that has now fallen apart, like it just does not work anymore. But I mean, it's pretty old. I got it from 2009. Yeah, Tim has a work one. So he has a work one, but good thing you didn't drop that in the well I would never I know this but I literally got like when I bought this I got the insurance on it cuz I was like I know myself, but that's good.

So I got the insurance So but then I took a really long time to like mail it. Well, it was also sitting on my kitchen table for so long because I was like, I just need to bring this to the post office. I just need to bring this to the post office. Why won't somebody just magically take it to the post?

Right? Well then eventually my mom did. Yeah. Okay. Thanks. Shout out. Thank you. Shout out, Nance. Thank you. Thank you. And um, so she brought it to the, but then they did, they had to do whatever. I hate returning things to the, to the post office. It's awful. Why is that so hard? They will sit on my kitchen table for months.

I have an outfit from our family photos that I have to return because it did not fit. And I'm like, I've just been putting it off for weeks. Yeah. Because I'm dreading it. But anyways. Oh, I loved the dress I got for family photos. I actually really loved that dress. Where can I wear that? Not anytime soon.

Oh wait, I do. My friend Sarah is getting married. Oh, there you go. Um, but. I'm not gonna wear that dress. It's not really uh, oh, it's so pretty Sidebar sidebar. What were we talking about? Oh, you're hot your laptop in the tub. Oh my god So I dropped my laptop. Did you get electrocuted? No, thank goodness But I lost Everything that was on there.

So then I, is it dead? Then I finally, oh, it was dead. Dead. Well, I think so. I finally Did you send it? I returned it. I returned it, like I sent it back and then they had it, and then they sent me, I didn't know if they sent me a new one or the RB Oneish. Yeah. Yeah. I don't feel like it works as great, but it works fine.

But I had to redownload all the. Programs and stuff. I was like, ah, and I like honestly kind of did it in such intense momentum. When I first started this, I think it was like March or February and I was just like, oh my gosh, I should have written down how I did all of this. So I kind of had to rediscover.

And right now we're recording this on my phone because I didn't think to bring my podcast stuff with me. So is this going to work? Yeah. Well, this is how I recorded the trailer. I did it on my phone. Okay. I mean, it's probably going to be not as great audio. Sorry, everybody, but I feel like we'll be okay.

It'll be fine. We gotta get back in the mojo, get back in the swing of things. Into the groove. Yeah. So, but sidebar, let's just talk about for a second how it's so much easier for men to take time for themselves than it is for women. And we were talking about that today about how I think because we're always thinking about our kids before ourselves and that we're always thinking what do they need and what do we need to do to prepare them for the week or the day or the whatever.

I know. Um, and like, you know, we've got great husbands, but I just think they're so much better about putting their needs first. Well, I feel like they're able to actually Separate things in their brain. I don't think we're able to do that. I would agree. I don't think, like, I don't even know if it's physiologically possible.

I think they feel significantly less guilt. Oh, 100. They, for taking time away. And it's not like, it's not anything against them. They can't control that. They don't, but I guess on the flip side, they also don't experience. And, and I hope this isn't, like, offensive to anybody, but I don't think they can physically experience the I think the mother child bond is like That's like a ph it's like A thing.

Yeah. It's like a physiological thing. Like we talked about, like, their DNA lives on in us. And Right. My husband is a great dad and He's great and they loves his kids. They love him, but I don't know. No, I don't think I just think, I think men, this generation are a lot more involved with their families. Oh, God, I think about that.

I couldn't do it. What would you do? I can't do it all the time. I'll tell you that, like, thank goodness that that they're involved in, you know, it's still so funny when. My husband tells me he's out with the kids and I might be working or whatever, and then some older couple or older person will say to him like, Look at you dad, way to go.

Cause he took the kids to like the grocery store. Yeah, it's like getting a reward for doing very simple parenting and then I'll take them to the grocery store and it's like, oh you've got your hands full. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm like, no shit Sherlock, you won't take a kid. You want to help me out? Yeah.

Could you grab that, that, that, that uh, seltzer box for me? Oh my god. Or are you just gonna make comments? Well I like that thing, it's like a meme that says like, you've never heard the phrase working dad. Yes! You know what I mean? It's like you're a working mom. But I mean, let's just Maybe appreciate it for a second, but it is becoming much better, I feel like.

Oh, absolutely. I also think that my husband would be way better at being a stay at home dad than I ever was at being a stay at home mom. My husband had just, was staying home with them during, like, the beginning of the pandemic. Yeah, I remember that. And the poor guy, I thought, was gonna lose his gut. Oh, my God.

His captain's logs. I was just gonna bring this up. Day 700. His captain's, like, he would post on Facebook everything, like, updates. That was weird, because we weren't even seeing each other. No, I mean, you know what was super weird? And that was just a weird time, but like, I was still going to work, because my life didn't really change that much.

No, it didn't. Like, yeah, work changed, but I was still going to work, three days a week, twelve hour shifts, like, doing my thing. That was weird. Because everybody else was so isolated, but I was like, I'm out there, in the world. Just seeing all the sick people. Doing the damn thing. It was so weird. Oh my god, I know.

That was such a crazy time. Dark times, dark times. That was such a crazy time. Anyway. Thank God for Frozen 2, let me just say. But the movie? Yeah. Did it come out? Yeah, Disney released it. Disney Plus released it early so that it could be watched. Really, I don't even remember that. See, that's because you weren't like literally stuck in the house.

I wasn't home. I love you aren't stuck in the house. And Zach and I talk about it all the time. We miss the Seeing patients in a parking lot. We, we were like, we miss it. That's the Frozen 2 and Tiger King part of Oh my god, Tiger King! Tiger King, I'm never gonna financially recover from this. That's what he says.

But also, same, life, right? I actually relate to you so much right now, dude. Same, see, since he's still alive. Yes, why do we always assume people die? Well, because I haven't seen him in a while. He's incarcerated, I think. Yeah, definitely. How do we circle this back to South Care Sunday? Men taking time for themselves is a lot easier.

I could be not true for everybody. Right. Like, there are a lot of single dads out there literally taking on both roles. And I think that has to be extremely challenging in a similar way as being a single mom. So, like, to, like, you know, and dads are great. I think every... Dads are great. Dads are great. Dads are great.

Big, big 10 out of 10 for dads. Big fans. Yeah. 10 out of 10. Big fans. The most wonderful pecans on the way back. I know. Something was in those pecans. That kind of, that kind of reminded me when I was a little kid when my brother and I would like be touring a city with my parents. Like Paris or whatever there would always be like street vendors.

Yeah And so we would always get like chestnuts. No, I hate chestnuts. Oh, I freaking love them. They're gross. No, I love they smell good But they're yucky. Oh, they're weird. No one loves them. So you would like eat them And then, like, so we would be occupied, while they would be, like, touring a city, like, whatever.

And you reminded me of that, I was like, oh, warm nuts! I know, I'm back in Europe with my warm nuts, I feel so good! And then all I kept thinking was, Jay would think this is hilarious, cause it says nuts. And I was like, I can't believe we're at the These nuts? These nuts, I can't believe we're at that part of Parenthood already!

I know, I know. But I think with my husband taking time for himself, he's just such a better planner than I am, so he fits it into his schedule. Yeah. And I am too a d d to even think ahead that far, or, or I'm like just, oh, I'm not gonna do it because it's just too much work or, well, I feel like that's a part, a part of me too is like, and it's kind of that way with work as well.

For me it's like it's way more work to be out. Right. So it's like. Yeah, it's the preparation. That's, exactly. There's so much work that has to go into any shift, any change or shift in routine. Yeah. That it's just like, ugh. Like this was, this was amazing because. Yeah, I think we're similar in that way. We just won't do it because it's like.

Right. It's not worth it. That's just too much work. It's not fucking worth it. I mean, but it is. It Really worth it. But it is worth it. This is fun. This is worth it. I'm really excited because once we stop doing this, I'm gonna go eat that caramel chocolate. I'm excited for you to figure out how the TV works.

Oh, I know. We can't figure that out. I know. I kind of want to just like put like a chick flick on. That's what I wanted. Like bridesmaids or something. Oh my god. Mean girls. or bridesmaids. Bridesmaids is on Netflix. If we can get Netflix to work, we can launch bridesmaids. So bad right now. We can't figure out how to turn the TV on.

It's just, I want this one thing. It's all I really want. Are you thrilled that it's only me? We can text the guy. I know we could. I just feel bad. Well, we're gonna go problem solve, but moral of the story, self care is important. No, but for in all seriousness. I hope that you know that we have an open invitation to join our mediocre moms club because we need more moms who know that like this is okay.

Yeah, um. Do you know what I mean? Like I feel like people need to know, like you need to know, like there are people who'll be like, Hell yeah, it's a freaking Sunday night. We went to the beach. We went out to dinner. We are now gonna go to fall asleep and get up and have breakfast and like, you know what?

It's fine. Yeah, it's great. You can still have a life outside of just being a mom like you can Definitely that's a big part of who we are but like it's not all of who you are, right? And I think you lose sight of that. Yeah And sometimes that's why I'm appreciative that I'm still working because it helps me remember that I'm, like, who I am outside of being a mom.

But, like, I think it must be really hard for stay at home moms to, even more so, to, like, have that, like, identity. And maybe it's super important for people who stay at home to, like, go to the gym once a day to remember, like, you're still a human who needs, like, adult interaction. Well, when I stayed home for those two years even I like lit, complete.

I feel like I completely lost my identity. Yeah. Other than being a mom, I mean granted we were in the like two under two like absolute. That was a chaos. That was just dark times. Dark the darkest of times. Right. But, which it feels so weird to say that now because my oldest just turned eight. Oh my God.

Which is, it feels like it wasn't that long ago, but it like also feels like it was a really long time ago. Long time ago. Time ago. Yeah. Yeah. But I think it's so important for everybody and just to know, and it's like, we can do that and we can, we can do things that are self care. We can go away. And it doesn't count to go to the groceries.

No, it doesn't count. But it's like, you, you can do these things, but we eventually need to do them without feeling guilty. We need to get there. Yeah, I know when I get there. Exactly. But as, and the way we get there is by, Taking away the power of do you know what I mean? Like it doesn't need to be fucking taboo It doesn't need to it is okay our kid I mean if you're just like leaving your kids on the side of the road, don't do that No, don't do that.

Like our children right now are home with their fathers and they've been them all day They had a great day both of them probably and They're in bed, nothing is, everything's great. We obviously, we both FaceTimed. Everybody's safe, everything's fine. I mean, yeah, they might miss us and want us to come home, but it's like, great, you know what?

Sometimes it's nice for them to miss us. Yeah, that's true, too. You know what I mean? Yeah. Especially when you're with them so frequently. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Seriously, it's so true. Maybe they'll appreciate us more. So I think the more, I think the more that we take away the power of moms going away is so rare and, and, and whatever.

It's like, no, it doesn't have to be. It is okay. It is really, really okay. Absolutely. I think that's a big deal. I think it's more than okay. It's, it's, it's necessary and it's a big part of being you, like, and I'll, my husband's really good about it, like, I'll just be like, I'm, like, really stressed out or I have a headache or whatever, I'm gonna go take a bath and I'll just go upstairs and I'll be up there for like an hour and sometimes the kids will pop in and out And be like, Hey, I'm like, I'll just like be sitting there and I'll like be watching a show or like listening to an audio book or a podcast or something.

You know what I mean? Like, but just having that time and then I'm like, I'm able to breathe. I can't do that in the house because it is challenging. I mean, especially the two year olds. He's just like, yeah, see, there's no leaving me alone. I mean, even if I go up to take a shower, he's like, he's in the shower.

So for me, I think once you're out of that, you got to get, I have to get out of the house. And it's different for everybody. It might look different for everybody. Like, maybe you go for a walk around the neighborhood, but like, That's actually something I really want to start doing. That sounds wonderful.

Just going for a little walk. But my kids will be like, Mom, can I come? And then how do you say no? Walks are so challenging, too. It's like they take, there's no enjoyment in walking. No, it usually starts out with a bike and then it ends with me carrying a bike. Carrying one. And a dog pooping on somebody's lawn.

And they're like, I'm hungry. And I'm like, well, we're almost. I'm so tired. I'm so tired. I love when you think that you can just like, automatically make shit appear. I need a snack right now. Well, where do you think I'm going to get this snack? I'm hungry. Where do you think this is going to come from? I'm so hungry.

Does it look like I have any snacks? I need to like, reel my sass back in a little bit. No. I mean. I don't think so. Thanks for your support. Something, one of my kids asked me this morning to get them something and I was in the middle of like feeding the dog and I was like, does it look like I can do that for you right now?

I, or I said, I said to her like I can only do one thing at a time. Oh, I don't think that's bad at all. Please realize I cannot do multiple things at once. See, I've definitely said things like, does it look like I can do that right now? Yeah, which is also, which is also, I mean, but the reason I don't think it's fine, or the reason I think it's less fine is because I wouldn't want my child saying that to me or to, or to anybody else.

So granted, I say shit I don't want my kids to say all the time. And I've really gotten to the point where it's like, I've stopped apologizing and I've said more things like, yeah, sometimes adults. You know, it is, adults use those words, and it's okay for adults to use them, but it's not okay for a child to use them, and, and it's okay that mommy used that word, I'm sorry if it upset you, and if it did, I won't use it around you, granted, not that I'm just like swearing in front of my kids all the time, but if I do, or if they hear it in a song, or, it's like, yeah, you know, grown ups can say those things, but like, it's not appropriate for you to say those things, because you're eight, you know what I mean?

So it's like, some things when you grow up are privileges that you get as you get older, like a license. When you can say things. You can say fuck. Yeah. Oh my God. I love that meme or that video. That's like what I say to my kids. Instead of saying, fuck, fuck. It's so funny. Oh my God. Oh my God. Can we, I'm going to give myself some props here.

I made some snackle boxes, like tackle. I was inspired by the pictures of like the tackle boxes being turned into like, almost like bento boxes, snack things. And so I bought some Tupperware cause I couldn't find the other things. And I made a bunch of them and they are, So they were great. They came in so clutch.

It was just the right combination of like, there was meats and cheese and veggies and hummus. And I was just living for it and some chocolate. Yeah, it was everything, everything. So good. The take home message is that if you're gonna do self care, you should have a snackle box. A snackle box. Fill your snackle box.

Grab your snackle box and head out. Yeah. Oh, wait. Oh my god. Do you know what I'm about to go get out of the freezer right now? The Prosecco soaked grapes that I made. I know what you're not getting. Gelato. I'm so upset. We just walked around a lot because I swear I saw gelato place and I was like, wait, we got to turn around.

We already missed it. And so we just walked a lot of extra walking. And then we realized that we hadn't yet passed the gelato place. Yes. We walked in the opposite direction looking for gelato. I was like, Oh, well, we didn't find it. We'll just get some spiced nuts in. A caramel apple, which is so random and sounds like fair food.

And then as we're walking back in the direction of the hotel, we finally pass the gelato place that existed after all, so. But the moral of the story of this is that neither of us have gelato. Yeah, sad. I can tell that I'm burnt on my legs because like there's heat radiating Yeah, you're generating your own.

I'm always generating so much heat, but like right now, it's like radiating. We are gonna go to bed. I'm so tired. I'm super tired. We're gonna figure out how to turn the TV on. Where's this Party Animals? We really are. 9. 55 and I'm ready to go to bed. What? Look at all those circles closed. Yeah, I mean, it's all that walking with your gelato on.

See? Who said gelato is bad? Nobody. It's actually healthy. Yeah. It's a health food. Well, thanks for your patience while I got my laptop back from being fixed from dropping it into the bathtub. Yeah, that is the epitome of mediocre. I think it's ridiculous you bring your laptop in the bathtub. Of course it's ridiculous.

Of course it's ridiculous on the little tiny shelf. It was so dumb. Like on the ledge? Yes. It was very stupid. Oh my god. What in the that. Oh no. Which is why I got the insurance and I made sure it covered water damage because I know myself. Actually, you need one of those things that goes across the tub. I know I do, but I don't have a double side ledge like that.

I just need a better tub. I just need a soaker tub or a hot tub. new tub. New tub. Love tubs. Alright, well. Let's do a separate podcast on tubs. A separate podcast just on bath tubs. Do you like a good tub every once in a while? Do you know what? I saw this advertisement for these things. You like, it's like these soaks and you do them like, like a couple times a week.

And they're supposed to really de stress you. Oh, I think I've read about that. Have you seen that? I'm looking into that. Cause I'm like, this sounds great. Probably awful. Fake news, boo. I know, but like, self care. I'm still trying. Hashtag Self care! Okay, well, we're falling asleep, but self care Sunday. It's officially 10 o'clock.

We stayed up so late. All right, now we can go to bed. Yay! We're so cool. Bye! Bye! Bye!